LET'S DO THIS THING

[aphelionix]

While by no means a device to get Sherlock to shut up, the telly did manage to at least make him sit in one place. (Unless he was particularly into one of the cheesy soaps on, in which case he'd jump out of his chair and yell at the actors.) He had recently gotten into another disagreement with his brother, as well, and it was a good distraction. It kept John from getting caught in the middle, holding each brother at arms length away from each others' throats.

There was the occasional text Sherlock would look at and ignore, going back to the telly. Lestrade didn't have any good cases for him. He put his phone back in his pocket, huffing with disappointment.

"John. Want some tea?" he said, making the motion to look over his shoulder, despite not looking away from the screen.

Comments

[pugsmuggler]

"Wha-" John stared up at Sherlock with confused, squinting eyes. "Why not?!"

[aphelionix]

"Just don't. It's a bad idea."

[pugsmuggler]

"Why is it a bad idea, Sherlock? Hm?" John raised his brows expectantly. "Either you know something I don't or for some inexplicable reason you want to get a head start on ruining my evening. If it is the former, I highly suggest that you fill me in."

[aphelionix]

Sherlock hesitated.

"It's a set-up," he said vaguely, leaving room for as much misinterpretation as possible, delaying the inevitable.

[pugsmuggler]

"A set-up by who, exactly?" John didn't seem impressed.

[aphelionix]

Sherlock turned over the options in his head. He could blame his brother. (No, John would find out the next time he'd get himself snatched off the street by Mycroft.) He could blame Moriarty. While a part of him respected his nemesis too much to use his name in such a way, well. Sherlock Holmes was not beyond lying for his own advantage. He didn't feel like getting punched in the face today. (Granted, things would be more lively.) Or, he could fluster John so much that he'd be forced to call off his date.

Sherlock's expression became grave.

"It could be Moriarty, John. Go back out. Go find another date."

[pugsmuggler]

John looked surprised. "Why would..."

"You know what," He closed his laptop, reaching for the pocket on his discarded coat. "Why don't I dial her number? That should solve things once and for all."

[aphelionix]

"It wouldn't be the first time he- ...John?" Sherlock stared in alarm as he reached for his phone. The spare phone he used to text John was in his coat on the couch. He hadn't turned it off.

Sherlock snatched the coat as quick as he could, scrambling for the cell, distancing himself and John as he jumped up. It was hard to make the actions all seem coincidental and meaningless.

Especially when a cheerful tune - not Sherlock's usual ringtone - started sounding out of his jacket.

[pugsmuggler]

"Sherlock," John began, eyes closing meditatively and lips pressing into a tight frown. "Answer the phone."

[aphelionix]

Sherlock eased back a step.

"It's, uh," he stammered. "Mycroft. I'd rather not."

[pugsmuggler]

"Answer the phone, Sherlock," John repeated, and despite he still delivered his words coolly, there was a noticeable rise of impatience in his voice.

[aphelionix]

The jovial music was almost deafening by now. Sherlock stared down at the phone in his hand, sighing and hitting a button, lifting the phone to his ear.

"Hello, John," he said.

[pugsmuggler]

John brought the phone to his ear.

"Hi," he replied, monotone. "I'm calling to inquire about our date."

[aphelionix]

"Still on," Sherlock said after a small pause, trying very hard not to make light of the situation. "If you'd like."

[pugsmuggler]

"Yeah, about that, you're not really the brunette I had in mind," John said with a rising intonation.

[aphelionix]

"I don't think she'll be able to make it," Sherlock mentioned helpfully. "How about I take her place?"

[pugsmuggler]

At that, John hung up. Heaving a long sigh and twitching his lips once, he placed the phone down on the coffee table. "Sherlock, why do you have two phones?-- No, forget that. I don't care. Why, in god's name, did you think it was a good idea to coerce a woman into giving me a fake number and proceed to to lead my on by role playing a woman via text message?"

[aphelionix]

"I already told you," he explained, sticking the phone back into his pocket, "I was bored."

[pugsmuggler]

"You, you were bored?!" John scoffed out, palming over his forehead and wearing a disbelieving half-smile. "Ridiculous! Absolutely unbelievable."

[aphelionix]

"Oh, come on. It was just a bit of fun. Maybe next time you should invite me along," Sherlock said, getting to the real heart of the matter, flopping back down into his chair. "It's not like you got to know her."

[pugsmuggler]

"So you staged all these because you were upset I didn't want to take you along?" John stood, shaking his head as he headed back into the kitchen. "Great, just great. You're just the pinnacle of maturity, aren't you? You know what, I won't be going back out today. I'm going to make some more tea, go up to my room with a good book, and I will be avoiding talking to you."

[aphelionix]

"John," Sherlock whined, standing up. He had that expression about him that said he knew he did something wrong, but wasn't sure why it was. With a sigh, he started pulling his coat on, heading for the door.

[pugsmuggler]

John simply looked back on Sherlock with confusion. "Where are you going now?"

MISERABLE

[aphelionix]

"I thought you weren't talking to me," Sherlock stated, smiling halfheartedly as he disappeared out the door.

I HOPE YOU ARE NO MISERABLE NOW

[pugsmuggler]

John just breathed a sigh as he heard the door slam. "I don't care. I don't care."