Adventures in Babysitting

[pugsmuggler]

It was uncharacteristically early when Garamond decided to stop by Calibri’s lab. The installment was still relatively new to the first circle’s queen ship. The counters were still glossy-tiled and free of chemical burns, the utensils all shiny and unused, and while it accommodated for plenty more than just Calibri’s research, no one really had the nerve to go in there with it being consistently occupied by the circle’s finest poisons expert — No one except for Garamond. From Garamond’s perspective, Calibri had acclimated himself to life on the ship quite well, and handled his responsibilities aptly. This particular morning, however, Garamond had decided to hand Calibri a responsibility that extended slightly beyond what Calibri had signed on for.

Ten-year-old son at his side, Garamond let himself through the laboratory doors and into the. He found Calibri, after a brief trip around the countertops, curled up asleep underneath a desk. Calibri was equipped with a stylus and notebook in hand as if he had fallen asleep scrawling notes. Garamond, not visibly surprised by the scenario, crouched down to Calibri’s level, perching himself on the toes of his loafers.

“Ah, there you are,” Garamond announced himself. “I had a favor to ask.”

Comments

[kobacake]

"I'm gonna be an awesome dad someday." Danny straightened up again, tilting his chin up with a hint of pride. "Just like Boss. He's the best."

[tactician]

Behind his fork, Calibri's mouth quirked into a barely-there smile, even as he kept his eyes on his finely and evenly diced scrambled eggs. "He is a good father," he agreed quietly, sounding almost fond. Calibri lifted his eyes to Danny. "You would do well in emulating him."

Of course, he had to ruin that a moment later with a thoughtful tilt of his head. "But I estimate you have at least two years before you are even physically capable of producing offspring."

[kobacake]

Danny nodded towards Calibri as he agreed. Boss was so great, even weird people like Calibri could understand. Suddenly he went wide-eyed and pointed at Calibri's face, looking almost alarmed. "WHOA! You smiled!!"

[tactician]

Consequently, Calibri frowned. "Is there something wrong with that?"

[kobacake]

"I've never seen you smile before." This wasn't completely true. He'd seen Calibri smile plenty of times, but those smiles were normally accompanied by gleaming glasses lenses and eerie laughter and a menacing aura. This was the first time he'd seen a happy, normal person smile on Calibri's face, no matter how small it'd been. "It almost made you look not evil."

[tactician]

His eyes narrowed - not threateningly, but curiously (although Danny would probably read it as the former just the same).

"Evil? What is your moral compass, for the son of a crime lord, I wonder."

[kobacake]

Danny just looked confused. "What's a mortal compass?"

[tactician]

"Moral compass. It's how you tell what's morally acceptable. Basically...what you would term as 'good' or 'evil'." He sniffed, putting down his fork in favor of his very tall glass of milk. Was Garamond trying to say something with all this calcium?

"It's a very homo sapien construct," Calibri added as an afterthought. "It seems very arbitrary for you."

[kobacake]

"Nice things are good and scary things are evil!" Danny said as if this was the obvious answer. As an afterthought, he added. "You use too many hard words.."

[tactician]

Even Calibri realized that getting into an argument about classifications of good, evil, scary and nice was a waste of effort on both their parts. He opted, instead, for finishing the rest of his breakfast instead, making short work of the remaining portions now that he wasn't preoccupied with explaining to a small child the constructs of moral alliances. When he finished, he set all the cutlery and glasses down as neatly as they had come, covering all the empty dishes again on the tray.

As he did so, he said, "Regardless of whether or not you find me 'scary,' it's my responsibility today to see that no real harm befalls you while you're under my care."

The consequences that followed should he fail to do so were something Calibri considered 'scary.'

He looked down at Danny. "As long as you're with me, you're safe."

[kobacake]

Danny stared up at Calibri, seeming to mull the other's words over in his head. In that moment, Danny found Calibri almost trustworthy. (That was certainly a change from an hour ago when he was screaming and crying on the floor out of fear...) "Really?"

His mouth flattened out into a line and his face took on a deadly serious tone. Suddenly, he thrust a small hand in Calibri's direction, pinky finger extended. "It's a promise, then, right?!"

[tactician]

Calibri stared at the finger. What was this?

"Is something wrong with your finger?"

[kobacake]

"No!! You have to promise!" Danny whined in frustration and shoved his hand closer to Calibri. He couldn't believe Calibri didn't know what a pinky promise was. "Hold out your hand like this."

[tactician]

With a clear look of skepticism, Calibri held out a hand and then slowly closed his fingers until only the pinky finger remained extended. What was the point of this, honestly? Homo Sapien traditions were so strange sometimes.

Tentatively, he attempted to poke the tip of Danny's pinky finger with his own. (Was that it?)

[kobacake]

Danny narrowed his eyes and canted his head just slightly to the side (a look that clearly read: Seriously?!). He hooked his pinky with Calibri's. "You're so dumb! It's like this. Now you have to promise."

[tactician]

Calibri's skepticism only increased. He tightened his finger around Danny's, almost to a painful degree.

"Is that really necessary?" he sighed, but he seemed to realize that this, too, was another lost cause, because shortly after, he recited, "I promise to ensure your safety as long as you are under my care, Daniel Owen Garamond."

[kobacake]

Danny's Gravely Serious expression returned to his face again as he bobbed their hands down once and up again to seal the deal. He kept their fingers linked while he said, "If you break it you have to swallow a thousand needles. That's the rule."

[tactician]

Very seriously, Calibri asked, "Is it required that all thousand be swallowed at the exact same time?"

[kobacake]

"I don't think you can fit a thousand needles in your mouth all at once..."

[tactician]

Calibri nodded.

"Very well. That's physically possible without certain death. I accept."

[kobacake]

"Whaaaat?!" Danny finally unlinked their fingers and dropped his hand, but stared at Calibri in disbelief. "There's no way you could survive something like that!!"

[tactician]

"You can. A human's stomach acids are theoretically low enough in pH to dissolve even steel," Calibri said sagely, withdrawing his hand as Danny did. Since the boy had stopped eating, he began cleaning up after Danny's dishes as well, stacking them and covering them as he did his own.

[kobacake]

"No way!" Danny slid off the stool, stretching his arms over his head once his feet hit the floor. "It'd totally slice up your insides whenever you swallowed it."

[tactician]

"It wouldn't be comfortable, but it's not fatal to swallow a needle."

Then Calibri paused, hand stilling over a silver handle, looking thoughtful.

"It'd be a good torture method, for example."

[kobacake]

"But then a thousand of them wouldn't fit in your stomach," he retorted, trying very, very hard to block out Calibri's second sentence.