LET'S DO THIS THING

[aphelionix]

While by no means a device to get Sherlock to shut up, the telly did manage to at least make him sit in one place. (Unless he was particularly into one of the cheesy soaps on, in which case he'd jump out of his chair and yell at the actors.) He had recently gotten into another disagreement with his brother, as well, and it was a good distraction. It kept John from getting caught in the middle, holding each brother at arms length away from each others' throats.

There was the occasional text Sherlock would look at and ignore, going back to the telly. Lestrade didn't have any good cases for him. He put his phone back in his pocket, huffing with disappointment.

"John. Want some tea?" he said, making the motion to look over his shoulder, despite not looking away from the screen.

Comments

[pugsmuggler]

John pursed his lips thoughtfully for a moment before drawing them back into a straight line. "Excuse me if a fail to see the problem here," he said, shedding his jacket. "The worst your brother is going to do is waste my time."

[aphelionix]

Sherlock rolled his eyes. This wasn't working out.

"Fine, fine," he said, turning back to the television.

[pugsmuggler]

"Why, exactly, does it bother you what I do with my time, anyway?" John pressed, brow furrowing. "Do you... have a problem with me dating women?"

[aphelionix]

Sherlock glanced at John out of the corner of his eye.

"No," he replied simply. "This particular case just seems awfully... off."

[pugsmuggler]

"Right, so you practically ruin every chance I have at a relationship for the past six- seven months, and now you don't want me to go on a date because something seems off," John mumbled. "I'm sure there's no relation there whatsoever."

[aphelionix]

"It's not like I ruin it on purpose," Sherlock sighed. "It's not my fault they can't keep up with you, who can't keep up with me."

[pugsmuggler]

"Yes, of course it's not," John rolled his eyes, grabbing for his laptop. He would rather occupy his time with the net then to deal with a "bored" Sherlock.

[aphelionix]

Ah, but the poor veteran already had dealt with a bored Sherlock.

Sherlock tapped his fingers against his knee. While he enjoyed a good problem to solve, this wouldn't have been among the sort he'd want to deal with himself. (But it was still better than boredom.)

Getting up from his seat, Sherlock settled himself across from John, staring at him from above his laptop screen.

"Don't go on that date tomorrow," he said.

[pugsmuggler]

"Wha-" John stared up at Sherlock with confused, squinting eyes. "Why not?!"

[aphelionix]

"Just don't. It's a bad idea."

[pugsmuggler]

"Why is it a bad idea, Sherlock? Hm?" John raised his brows expectantly. "Either you know something I don't or for some inexplicable reason you want to get a head start on ruining my evening. If it is the former, I highly suggest that you fill me in."

[aphelionix]

Sherlock hesitated.

"It's a set-up," he said vaguely, leaving room for as much misinterpretation as possible, delaying the inevitable.

[pugsmuggler]

"A set-up by who, exactly?" John didn't seem impressed.

[aphelionix]

Sherlock turned over the options in his head. He could blame his brother. (No, John would find out the next time he'd get himself snatched off the street by Mycroft.) He could blame Moriarty. While a part of him respected his nemesis too much to use his name in such a way, well. Sherlock Holmes was not beyond lying for his own advantage. He didn't feel like getting punched in the face today. (Granted, things would be more lively.) Or, he could fluster John so much that he'd be forced to call off his date.

Sherlock's expression became grave.

"It could be Moriarty, John. Go back out. Go find another date."

[pugsmuggler]

John looked surprised. "Why would..."

"You know what," He closed his laptop, reaching for the pocket on his discarded coat. "Why don't I dial her number? That should solve things once and for all."

[aphelionix]

"It wouldn't be the first time he- ...John?" Sherlock stared in alarm as he reached for his phone. The spare phone he used to text John was in his coat on the couch. He hadn't turned it off.

Sherlock snatched the coat as quick as he could, scrambling for the cell, distancing himself and John as he jumped up. It was hard to make the actions all seem coincidental and meaningless.

Especially when a cheerful tune - not Sherlock's usual ringtone - started sounding out of his jacket.

[pugsmuggler]

"Sherlock," John began, eyes closing meditatively and lips pressing into a tight frown. "Answer the phone."

[aphelionix]

Sherlock eased back a step.

"It's, uh," he stammered. "Mycroft. I'd rather not."

[pugsmuggler]

"Answer the phone, Sherlock," John repeated, and despite he still delivered his words coolly, there was a noticeable rise of impatience in his voice.

[aphelionix]

The jovial music was almost deafening by now. Sherlock stared down at the phone in his hand, sighing and hitting a button, lifting the phone to his ear.

"Hello, John," he said.

[pugsmuggler]

John brought the phone to his ear.

"Hi," he replied, monotone. "I'm calling to inquire about our date."

[aphelionix]

"Still on," Sherlock said after a small pause, trying very hard not to make light of the situation. "If you'd like."

[pugsmuggler]

"Yeah, about that, you're not really the brunette I had in mind," John said with a rising intonation.

[aphelionix]

"I don't think she'll be able to make it," Sherlock mentioned helpfully. "How about I take her place?"

[pugsmuggler]

At that, John hung up. Heaving a long sigh and twitching his lips once, he placed the phone down on the coffee table. "Sherlock, why do you have two phones?-- No, forget that. I don't care. Why, in god's name, did you think it was a good idea to coerce a woman into giving me a fake number and proceed to to lead my on by role playing a woman via text message?"