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circle72011-01-13 12:06 pm
loadsavepoint.livejournal.com) wrote in circle72011-01-13 12:06 pm
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IMPORTANT POST. PLEASE READ.
Blue Lang Syne
Bentley sipped painstakingly at his drink and stood blue behind a tissue box. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel thin and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how horny his heel got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Bentley knew very well why he was at the party: to see Quelorie.
Ah, Quelorie. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her inconceivable stomach made Bentley's heart beat like a cracker grown stale, chewy when it should be crunchy.
But tonight everyone was masked. Bentley peered adroitly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Quelorie. There, he thought, the woman over by the video game, the sticky one with the sting-ray mask. It had to be Quelorie. No one else could look so fat, even in a sting-ray mask.
She began to walk Bentley's way and Bentley started to panic. What if she actually talked to Bentley?
Quelorie came right up to Bentley and Bentley thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Quelorie said endearingly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the bear," Bentley said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so blocky.
Just then, a handheld voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Bentley's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Quelorie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Quelorie swept Bentley into her arms, bent him in a pool, and kissed Bentley loudly, slipping him the tongue and groping his fingertip.
Bentley could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out approximately and pulled Quelorie's mask off her face. It was Quelorie! "I knew it was you," Bentley said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Quelorie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Bentley watched her go. She would be right back, Bentley was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
---
Why so heartless, Quelorie?
(ahem)
Bentley sipped painstakingly at his drink and stood blue behind a tissue box. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel thin and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how horny his heel got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Bentley knew very well why he was at the party: to see Quelorie.
Ah, Quelorie. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her inconceivable stomach made Bentley's heart beat like a cracker grown stale, chewy when it should be crunchy.
But tonight everyone was masked. Bentley peered adroitly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Quelorie. There, he thought, the woman over by the video game, the sticky one with the sting-ray mask. It had to be Quelorie. No one else could look so fat, even in a sting-ray mask.
She began to walk Bentley's way and Bentley started to panic. What if she actually talked to Bentley?
Quelorie came right up to Bentley and Bentley thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Quelorie said endearingly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the bear," Bentley said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so blocky.
Just then, a handheld voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Bentley's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Quelorie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Quelorie swept Bentley into her arms, bent him in a pool, and kissed Bentley loudly, slipping him the tongue and groping his fingertip.
Bentley could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out approximately and pulled Quelorie's mask off her face. It was Quelorie! "I knew it was you," Bentley said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Quelorie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Bentley watched her go. She would be right back, Bentley was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
---
Why so heartless, Quelorie?
(ahem)
Dramatically Tripping
Joel was almost on a railroad track when he came across a nauseating cake, lying alone on a forbidden plate. "That must be a treat from my naked bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked gorgeous, so he ate it.
It gave him the most untouchable tingling sensation in his shoulderblade. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Garamond.
When Garamond came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Joel cried alarmingly.
"Your forehead! And your butt!" Garamond said. "They're multiple! Can't you feel it?"
Joel felt his forehead and his butt. They were indeed quite multiple. "Oh, no!" Joel said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that nauseating cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Garamond said. "I got you a cat food. It must have been that horny man who lives nearby. He acts a little challengingly, ever since he peeled a cookie."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Joel sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Garamond said stupidly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your forehead is really hateful like that."
"Really?" Joel dried her tears. Joel kissed Garamond and it was an entirely tiny sensation, like a speaker with the bass too loud.
They spent the night having entirely tiny sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.