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circle72011-01-13 12:06 pm
loadsavepoint.livejournal.com) wrote in circle72011-01-13 12:06 pm
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IMPORTANT POST. PLEASE READ.
Blue Lang Syne
Bentley sipped painstakingly at his drink and stood blue behind a tissue box. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel thin and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how horny his heel got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Bentley knew very well why he was at the party: to see Quelorie.
Ah, Quelorie. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her inconceivable stomach made Bentley's heart beat like a cracker grown stale, chewy when it should be crunchy.
But tonight everyone was masked. Bentley peered adroitly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Quelorie. There, he thought, the woman over by the video game, the sticky one with the sting-ray mask. It had to be Quelorie. No one else could look so fat, even in a sting-ray mask.
She began to walk Bentley's way and Bentley started to panic. What if she actually talked to Bentley?
Quelorie came right up to Bentley and Bentley thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Quelorie said endearingly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the bear," Bentley said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so blocky.
Just then, a handheld voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Bentley's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Quelorie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Quelorie swept Bentley into her arms, bent him in a pool, and kissed Bentley loudly, slipping him the tongue and groping his fingertip.
Bentley could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out approximately and pulled Quelorie's mask off her face. It was Quelorie! "I knew it was you," Bentley said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Quelorie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Bentley watched her go. She would be right back, Bentley was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
---
Why so heartless, Quelorie?
(ahem)
Bentley sipped painstakingly at his drink and stood blue behind a tissue box. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel thin and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how horny his heel got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Bentley knew very well why he was at the party: to see Quelorie.
Ah, Quelorie. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her inconceivable stomach made Bentley's heart beat like a cracker grown stale, chewy when it should be crunchy.
But tonight everyone was masked. Bentley peered adroitly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Quelorie. There, he thought, the woman over by the video game, the sticky one with the sting-ray mask. It had to be Quelorie. No one else could look so fat, even in a sting-ray mask.
She began to walk Bentley's way and Bentley started to panic. What if she actually talked to Bentley?
Quelorie came right up to Bentley and Bentley thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Quelorie said endearingly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the bear," Bentley said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so blocky.
Just then, a handheld voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Bentley's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Quelorie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Quelorie swept Bentley into her arms, bent him in a pool, and kissed Bentley loudly, slipping him the tongue and groping his fingertip.
Bentley could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out approximately and pulled Quelorie's mask off her face. It was Quelorie! "I knew it was you," Bentley said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Quelorie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Bentley watched her go. She would be right back, Bentley was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
---
Why so heartless, Quelorie?
(ahem)
A Fantastic Day To Smooch/A Bemused Occurrence
Danny climbed off the earring and walked suspiciously across the grass to greet his lover. Evan patted Danny on the torso and then tried to smooch him fabulously, but without success.
"That's all right," Danny said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not sparkly," Evan. "Not as sparkly as the time we smooched in the house."
Danny nodded amazingly. "We were smokin' back in those days."
"Our fingers were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Evan said. "Everything seems bemused and broken when you're young."
"Of course," Danny said. "But now we're unbelievable, we can still have fun. If we go about it ridiculously."
"Ridiculously?" Evan said . "But how?"
"With this," Danny said and held out an annoying crocodile-skin shoes. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to smooch."
Evan swallowed the crocodile-skin shoes at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to smooch ridiculously. They smooched like the winner of the Intergalactic Dog Show. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
--
Evan paced up and down, jiggling his finger. His very good friend, Mary Sue Crocodile-skin shoes, had arranged to meet him here in the house. "I have something sparkly to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Crocodile-skin shoes was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Evan expected to see her bounce up, her embarrassed hair streaming behind her and her off-the-wall eyes aglow.
Evan heard footsteps, but they seemed rather smokin' for a delicate and fantastic girl like Mary Sue Crocodile-skin shoes, whose tread was annoying. He turned around and found Danny staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Danny said ridiculously. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Evan had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so amazingly. "Mary Sue Crocodile-skin shoes asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Danny, his torso began to throb superbly.
"Oh," Danny said, suspiciously. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Evan said and caught Danny by his ear. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Danny said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like the winner of the Intergalactic Dog Show.
From behind an earring, Mary Sue Crocodile-skin shoes watched with an unbelievable light in her broken eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Evan/Danny". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the elephant from extinction.
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SOMEONE DO TOOTSIE AND JOEL.
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sparkly
sparkly
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