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circle72011-01-13 12:06 pm
loadsavepoint.livejournal.com) wrote in circle72011-01-13 12:06 pm
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IMPORTANT POST. PLEASE READ.
Blue Lang Syne
Bentley sipped painstakingly at his drink and stood blue behind a tissue box. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel thin and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how horny his heel got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Bentley knew very well why he was at the party: to see Quelorie.
Ah, Quelorie. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her inconceivable stomach made Bentley's heart beat like a cracker grown stale, chewy when it should be crunchy.
But tonight everyone was masked. Bentley peered adroitly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Quelorie. There, he thought, the woman over by the video game, the sticky one with the sting-ray mask. It had to be Quelorie. No one else could look so fat, even in a sting-ray mask.
She began to walk Bentley's way and Bentley started to panic. What if she actually talked to Bentley?
Quelorie came right up to Bentley and Bentley thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Quelorie said endearingly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the bear," Bentley said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so blocky.
Just then, a handheld voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Bentley's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Quelorie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Quelorie swept Bentley into her arms, bent him in a pool, and kissed Bentley loudly, slipping him the tongue and groping his fingertip.
Bentley could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out approximately and pulled Quelorie's mask off her face. It was Quelorie! "I knew it was you," Bentley said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Quelorie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Bentley watched her go. She would be right back, Bentley was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
---
Why so heartless, Quelorie?
(ahem)
Bentley sipped painstakingly at his drink and stood blue behind a tissue box. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel thin and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how horny his heel got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Bentley knew very well why he was at the party: to see Quelorie.
Ah, Quelorie. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her inconceivable stomach made Bentley's heart beat like a cracker grown stale, chewy when it should be crunchy.
But tonight everyone was masked. Bentley peered adroitly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Quelorie. There, he thought, the woman over by the video game, the sticky one with the sting-ray mask. It had to be Quelorie. No one else could look so fat, even in a sting-ray mask.
She began to walk Bentley's way and Bentley started to panic. What if she actually talked to Bentley?
Quelorie came right up to Bentley and Bentley thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Quelorie said endearingly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the bear," Bentley said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so blocky.
Just then, a handheld voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Bentley's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Quelorie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Quelorie swept Bentley into her arms, bent him in a pool, and kissed Bentley loudly, slipping him the tongue and groping his fingertip.
Bentley could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out approximately and pulled Quelorie's mask off her face. It was Quelorie! "I knew it was you," Bentley said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Quelorie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Bentley watched her go. She would be right back, Bentley was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
---
Why so heartless, Quelorie?
(ahem)
The Miracle Of The Pygmy Marmoset
Every December, Joel would feel himself getting all retarded inside. He refused to put up a Christmas toilet, he snapped at anyone seductive enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Joel had to go to the mall to buy a moldy calendar. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing hastily around and so much Christmas music blaring indifferently, he thought his hair would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a naked man collecting for charity. Joel never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the naked man dropped his bells and ran in a cardboard box. There was a pouty pygmy marmoset right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the naked man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Joel rushed out and voraciously pushed them both out of the way. There was a chunky bang and then everything went dark.
When Joel woke up, he was in a youthful room. There was a Christmas toilet in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Joel's no-no zone hurt. A lot.
The naked man came into the room. "I'm so gay!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Vercelli. You saved me from the truck. But your no-no zone is broken."
Joel hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas toilet up and his no-no zone was broken, he felt quite galactic, especially when he looked at Vercelli.
"Your no-no zone must hurt devotedly," Vercelli said. "I think this will help." And he opened Joel several times.
Now Joel felt very galactic indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Vercelli. "I love you," he said, and kissed Vercelli fearfully.
"I love you too," said Vercelli. Just then, the pygmy marmoset ran into the room and nuzzled Joel's belly button. "I brought him home with us," Vercelli said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Joel said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
Re: The Miracle Of The Pygmy Marmoset
OH MY GOD THIS IS DEFINITELY THE BEST ONE YET FFFFFUCK LMAO.
Kels you pick the best words.
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AND THANK YOU
Re: The Miracle Of The Pygmy Marmoset
hi my name is Miracle
Re: The Miracle Of The Pygmy Marmoset
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