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[ His morning routine progresses as per usual. Wake up, wash up, throw on some work-appropriate clothes… not until he’s cut across into the kitchen for his morning coffee does he notice something out of place. Something very, very out of place. He stops, doing a bit of a double-take at first, blinking slowly and incredulously as he tries to take in what he’s seeing. ]

W-who…

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Dad?

[Here comes Nanako down the steps, rubbing her eyes. She's still in her pajamas, of course. All that yelling woke her up.]

Um...

[She just looks from one of them, to the other. Uh. What.]

[Hearing the yelling (seems kind of one-sided, though, considering he can only hear one voice - how odd), Adachi enters the house without quite knocking, peeking into the kitchen.]

What's all the-

[Like, Nanako, it's mostly Uh. What. going through his head too.]

Nanako, go back to-

[Wait, now Adachi?! Dojima looks from Nanako, to Adachi, and back to the "Dojima" in front of him. ...And realizes quickly that he has no explanation, and figures from the looks on their faces, they don't either. Jeez, what timing on their part.]

Adachi, you don't happen to know anything about this impostor, do you?

[Never quite learned to be subtle in front of his kid.]

Nanako-

Adachi?! What the hell are you doing here!?-- And you! I'm not the impostor, you are!

Um... Dad, why are there two of you?

[She doesn't quite know who to address here, so... she just keeps glancing between them. And, oh, there's Adachi-san too. Could this get any more confusing?]

Is he your brother?

[Despite the confusing...situation, Adachi automatically cringes at the sound of Dojima yelling his name. One thing's for certain - their voices certainly are the same. He blinks at one and then the other, not quite sure which to answer. He looks to one, bowing his head in respectful greeting. Oh, like it wasn't enough having one.]

Umm, I was running a late today...

[When is he not?]

And I was wondering if I could catch a ride...uh, sir.

[He looks to the other one, and after a moment, bows his head again.]

Sir....also, I guess? Sh-should I ask?

No, Nanako, he's not my brother. He's...

[Dojima doesn't even know. Maybe he does have a long lost brother?! He frowns at Adachi, arms crossing.]

Looks like we'll both be late. I'm not going until this is straightened out. So explain yourself.

[The last sentence is directed at his... clone, or something.]

Explain myself!? Just who do you think you are going around pretending like you're me?

Great impersonation, all right? Now cut it out.

Mm...

[Drawing on all the knowledge that TV has given her!]

Maybe he's your evil twin!

[Cluelessly, Adachi looks to the nearest one (whichever one that is).]

Ooooh, good thinking, Nanako-chan! I didn't know you had a twin, sir! You guys are really good at this act-

He's not my twin!

[Facepalm. Damn it, Adachi, you're no help. Like usual.]

And I'm not impersonating. Look, this is getting nowhere. You're seriously saying you're me?

No I'm not you! I'm Ryotaro Dojima, a police officer with the Inaba PD. Who are you?

And how do you know my daughter and co-worker?

So, you're not twins?

[She just got up, man. She's not prepared to deal with this madness.]

...I'm confused...

[Standing near Nanako, Adachi just stares between their bickering. Man, I don't remember pushing Dojima-san in.]

Yeah...me too...

You can't be Ryotaro Dojima. That's me. And she's my daughter, and he's my partner.

[~~Possessive!~~]

...Sorry you two, I wish I knew what was going on.

Wh-- Hey!

Listen, I don't know who you are or why you're here, but you need to cut the act. That's my daughter and that's my partner.

[Despite having no clue what's going on, Nanako looks pretty unhappy. Why are you guys fighting? :|]

...

[So she decides to start making breakfast. Food makes everyone happier, right? HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE PANCAKES.]

[Aww, such a responsible kid. Adachi watches her go off for a second, and then a thought occurs.]

Hey, Dojima-san...uh, and Dojima-san, one of you try saying, "You're not me!" and see what happens!

[Dojima just shoots Adachi a confused look, before sighing. This yelling at... himself and stuff... is tiring.]

He isn't me.

"You're not me"?

Of course he's not me.

[How very...disappointing. Deflated, Adachi sighs to himself, crossing the kitchen to where Nanako is instead, asking to help (and probably causing more trouble than providing any aid). Dojima is a stubborn type of guy, and he doesn't want to be stuck waiting around for two of them to sort things out on a point they are so very convinced about.]

Let me lend you a hand, Nanako-chan.

[In the meantime, Dojima had conducted a brilliant plan! ~~Even though it was Lainjima's idea.~~]

Why don't we settle this at the station over a fingerprint analysis?

[...After pancakes. Also dibs on driving the car-]

Fine by me.

[Just in time for the first batch of pancakes to be done. Nanako emerges with a plate full of 'em, and sets them on the table.]

Um, breakfast, Dad!

[...Still doesn't know which to address. Oh well.]

[Delegated to the menial task of bringing the syrup (figures, Nanako's more reliable than any of the adults in this room), Adachi nearly drops it when he hears their plan.]

Y-you can't honestly be planning to walk into the station like that, sir...s!

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SOB EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVES WHILE I'M AT LUNCH

/petpet

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