Adventures in Babysitting

[pugsmuggler]

It was uncharacteristically early when Garamond decided to stop by Calibri’s lab. The installment was still relatively new to the first circle’s queen ship. The counters were still glossy-tiled and free of chemical burns, the utensils all shiny and unused, and while it accommodated for plenty more than just Calibri’s research, no one really had the nerve to go in there with it being consistently occupied by the circle’s finest poisons expert — No one except for Garamond. From Garamond’s perspective, Calibri had acclimated himself to life on the ship quite well, and handled his responsibilities aptly. This particular morning, however, Garamond had decided to hand Calibri a responsibility that extended slightly beyond what Calibri had signed on for.

Ten-year-old son at his side, Garamond let himself through the laboratory doors and into the. He found Calibri, after a brief trip around the countertops, curled up asleep underneath a desk. Calibri was equipped with a stylus and notebook in hand as if he had fallen asleep scrawling notes. Garamond, not visibly surprised by the scenario, crouched down to Calibri’s level, perching himself on the toes of his loafers.

“Ah, there you are,” Garamond announced himself. “I had a favor to ask.”

Comments

[tactician]

Calibri, usually so oblivious (or simply uncaring) as to the reactions he garnered around people, strangely noticed the glare - maybe because this was his superior's son, and even he was aware that humans were strangely illogical creatures that persisted on emotions. If he didn't treat Danny correctly, it didn't really matter how well he performed in the workplace.

"What is it?" he asked, frowning at Danny's unwavering stare. His eyes flitted quickly back to the tables, all with harmful substances in tubes and bowls and petri dishes littering their surfaces. "Did you touch something poisonous?"

[kobacake]

"W-What?!" Danny whipped around, quickly pulling himself away from the table. Of course, he thought Calibri had meant he had touched something poisonous merely from leaning against the desk, and now he began to panic. "Oh god am I gonna die?!?!?"

[tactician]

"I would have to take a blood sample to know for sure," Calibri answered, calmly pulling an empty syringe and alcoholic sterilizer pad out of his pocket, as if those were entirely normal things to keep on one's person at all times.

[kobacake]

"W-W-WHAT?!" Danny squeaked out, holding his arms up in front of him, palms flat and facing Calibri."No way. NO WAY AM I GONNA LET YOU STAB ME WITH ONE OF THOSE!!"

[tactician]

"I can numb your arm," Calibri offered, cleaning off the needle of the syringe, which was really very, very long.

[kobacake]

"T-That won't even fit in my arm!" Danny shook his head violently, backing away from Calibri much like a small animal trying to make an escape from a predator.

[tactician]

"Of course it will," Calibri said, a little dip forming in his brow at Danny's obtuseness. His hand shot out and caught the hem of Danny's shirt, moving with a quickness that only made itself known at rare times. Usually, the poisons chemist did everything so lethargically and with such to-the-point purpose, it was sometimes jarring to know that he could move that fast. "The diameter of your arm is much thicker than the diameter of the needlepoint. There's clearly no way that it won't fit."

calibri is like a snake.....

[kobacake]

If there was one thing Danny was (one thing that he would always continue to be, even when he was older), it was fast. He was more than just a little startled when Calibri caught the hem of his shirt, not just because of Calibri's sudden speed, but because seeing Calibri standing there with every intention of stabbing him with a giant needle was absolutely terrifying. This seemed to jump start something in Danny's brain, a survival instinct perhaps, and he screamed, twisting around so that he could shed the collared over shirt that Calibri had latched onto. It was only too lucky that Danny hadn't buttoned it up like he did some days.

Without hesitating Danny jumped back a few steps to put distance between himself and Calibri, before making a mad dash to the opposite side of the nearest lab table. At least now there was an obstacle between them. Maybe he'd make it out alive after all.

his pokemon is snivy too-

[tactician]

For that entire display, Calibri really only looked mildly confused. Shirt dangling from his hand and syringe still in the other, he turned in the direction Danny had retreated to, but didn't move to chase the child past that.

"Why are you unclothing yourself in my laboratory?"

[kobacake]

It was Danny's turn, now, to look at Calibri like he was stupid (though the effect was probably diminished since his face just barely cleared the lab table between them). "There's no way I'm gonna let you stab me with that!!"

For someone who was possibly poisoned, Danny sure did have a lot of life in him.

[tactician]

Calibri stayed still for all of a moment.

Then, languidly, he started to circle the table toward Danny. "Daniel."

[kobacake]

Danny began circling the table in the opposite direction, keeping pace with Calibri so that he maintained the space between them. "...w-what?"

[tactician]

Calibri began to circle the other way, then back again, repeating the cat-mouse game over and over around the circumference of the table and its immediate vicinity. Every time he changed direction, he seemed to be moving faster. "It will only pinch a little. A needle is hardly anything to be intimidated by."

[kobacake]

Danny tried to keep up with all Calibri's direction switching, but each time he started lagging behind a little more. He shook his head, not believing a word Calibri was saying. Like hell it wouldn't hurt! It was long and sharp and Calibri was trying to put it in his arm!!

"I-I'm amenic!!" he yelled. Perhaps he meant "anemic"? "If you take my blood I'll die and then Boss will rip your face off and hang your corpse up as an example!!"

[tactician]

That little furrow of confusion reappeared at the outburst, only to be eased away a second later. "You are not anemic, Daniel," Calibri said patiently, changing directions yet again. He never really quite caught up to the boy, always allowing a few extra feet of leeway between them so that Danny could always get away by the skin of his teeth, and he persisted even as they began to work up a sweat from so much pre-breakfast exercise. "I've looked over all the medical records of the immediate staff at this organization, and your record has no indication of anemia."

[kobacake]

"BUT I'M ALLERGIC TO PAAAAAIN!!" Danny whined, starting to panic now that Calibri was getting closer and closer. In a last ditch effort to escape Calibri's clutches, he decided to try something different. Instead of backing away when Calibri approached him, he instead dove past Calibri, trying to use the advantage of his smaller stature to slip past him.

[tactician]

In a flutter of labcoat, Calibri caught Danny by the back of his collar, syringe still in hand.

But a needle prick never came.

Instead, Calibri looked down at Danny with a critical eye, on one lens glinting in the artificial light. After what probably seemed like the most tense moment of Danny's life, Calibri tucked the syringe back into one pocket, shrugging impassively. "The hypothesis was incorrect. You're not poisoned," he concluded, going lazy-lidded and almost bored-looking again. "If you were, then all the blood circulation I just induced would have had you dead by now."

Which meant that if he had been poisoned, Danny would probably be keeled over thanks to Calibri's idea of an experiment.

[kobacake]

Danny yelped when Calibri grabbed him, staring back in wide-eyed horror as he waited to receive the final blow. Goodbye, cruel world! His young life was so short. If only he could have remained in this world a little longer! ...But when it never came and Calibri put away his syringe, Danny let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in a moment of sweet, sweet relief.

Though, that moment lasted exactly the amount of time it took Calibri to tell Danny about the results of his experiment. Upon hearing that Calibri was fully ready to kill him (not like he hadn't been thinking that the whole time, but at least a part of him hoped Calibri would spare him), his eyes brimmed with tears, his bottom lip quivered, and within seconds his entire body was shaking with sobs as he cried out loud enough that it was almost audible beyond the airtight door of the lab. Almost. "Y-Y-YOU.... WANTED TO... KILL ME!!!!"

[tactician]

Homo Sapien children were fascinating creatures. How did they manage to shout so loudly while sobbing at the same time? The sound of their wailing was particularly grating too - it had the uncanny ability to make his head ache even after an entire night's sleep behind him. He raised his empty hand to one ear, cupping the palm over it though even that did little to assuage the volume.

"I had no such desire," he answered, finding it difficult to be heard above Danny's voice. He reached out with his other hand and tried cupping Danny's mouth this time, but even the muffled crying was enough to make him wince. "I was trying to diagnose you and- ah, that's really very loud. That-...can you...Daniel, please stop. I'm not exactly sure what the best course of action is when you make that sound."

[kobacake]

Danny was hysterical now, so there was no way he could understand Calibri's already difficult to comprehend manner of speaking. When Calibri tried to cover his mouth it only caused him to scream louder, and he flailed around until he could break free from Calibri's hold. He sank down to the floor, hugging his knees and burying his face in the space between his legs and his body.

"I.... HATE... YOU!!!!" Unfortunately for Calibri, the sound was barely muffled by his change in position.

[tactician]

Oh, now he was losing the support of his limbs. What was wrong with him?

Calibri flinched, slowly lowering himself to his knees and crouching until he was eye-level with Danny. "Daniel, please stop. I wasn't trying to kill you. That would have been a terrible decision considering the Boss put you in my care. I wouldn't have let you succumb to a poison. You're really...very loud, so, please. I'm not going to take a blood sample. Daniel."

He reached out, pulling his labcoat sleeve over his hand, and tried to pat at where the child's eyes were leaking saline solution. "Are you screaming because you're injured? Is that it?"

[kobacake]

When Calibri reached out towards him, Danny curled in tighter on himself so that Calibri wouldn't be able to see his face. To Calibri's question he just shook his head and said... something, but with all his sobbing it was too unintelligible to make out.

[tactician]

"Enunciate," Calibri said sternly, but not too harshly, still trying to pry Danny's face from his knees.

[kobacake]

To this, Danny didn't respond. It was likely he didn't know what that word meant...

[tactician]

Calibri settled back on his heels, huffing out an exasperated breath. "I'm confident that you don't want me to fetch pliers for this. What did you say? Is your tongue swelling in your mouth?"