Adventures in Babysitting

[pugsmuggler]

It was uncharacteristically early when Garamond decided to stop by Calibri’s lab. The installment was still relatively new to the first circle’s queen ship. The counters were still glossy-tiled and free of chemical burns, the utensils all shiny and unused, and while it accommodated for plenty more than just Calibri’s research, no one really had the nerve to go in there with it being consistently occupied by the circle’s finest poisons expert — No one except for Garamond. From Garamond’s perspective, Calibri had acclimated himself to life on the ship quite well, and handled his responsibilities aptly. This particular morning, however, Garamond had decided to hand Calibri a responsibility that extended slightly beyond what Calibri had signed on for.

Ten-year-old son at his side, Garamond let himself through the laboratory doors and into the. He found Calibri, after a brief trip around the countertops, curled up asleep underneath a desk. Calibri was equipped with a stylus and notebook in hand as if he had fallen asleep scrawling notes. Garamond, not visibly surprised by the scenario, crouched down to Calibri’s level, perching himself on the toes of his loafers.

“Ah, there you are,” Garamond announced himself. “I had a favor to ask.”

Comments

[kobacake]

As soon as Calibri removed his glasses, the illusion disappeared. O-oh, right. He wasn't a scary Angaerian after all. It was just Calibri. (That thought was only slightly comforting.) Danny straightened up, crossing his arms and puffing out his cheeks a little in defiance as he looked away. "Yeah.. He said it was gonna be something really yummy."

[tactician]

Calibri's mouth twitched. "I hope he is aware that your cheese-bread-meat concoction is not actually nutritionally valuable for breakfast."

Omg no i'm laughing too hard in the middle of work

[kobacake]

Danny stared at Calibri again, brows pinched together and mouth slightly open. "Are you stupid?! No one eats cheeseburgers for breakfast!"

[tactician]

"It seemed to be your meal of choice," Calibri said placidly, placing his glasses on his face and once again donning the horrific visage of Doom Personified. "Either way, there was no such food on my planet, and if you really wanted to break down the elemental components of your 'cheeseburger, you would come to the conclusion that no one should be eating them at all."

Even at twenty, Calibri really only stood about a head and three quarters over Danny at ten, but that didn't stop the aura of pure danger from emanating from his frame. He swept toward the boy and caught hold of Danny's shoulder with a hand (a deadly claw of torture and despair), pulling the boy to one end of the room, where there seemed to be an empty chair and desk. (A holding cell?!) Curiously enough, there were no straps or iron bindings anywhere in sight (though there was a pair of scissors sitting innocuously on one end of the table).

"Wait here."

[kobacake]

"Dinner and breakfast are two totally different things!" Danny rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the shiver that made its way down his spine once Calibri donned his glasses again. He was always surprised to hear that wherever Calibri came from, they didn't have completely normal, sensible things like cheeseburgers and probably other delicious foods as well. He had no idea what Calibri meant by 'elemental components' and all that, but the idea that no one should eat a cheeseburger, well, that was just stupid!

Danny tensed as he felt Calibri's hand on his shoulder. (Oh god, seriously why were his hands this cold? He could feel the chill through both his t-shirt and the collared shirt he wore above it.) When he was led to the chair, he looked around with eyes full of suspicion, as if he expected something to reach out and grab him at any moment. (Really, with what he'd seen and all the rumors he'd heard, it wouldn't be that crazy if it happened!!) He crossed his arms again (though this time it looked much less stubborn, and much more like he was bracing himself out of fear), leaning back against the desk once he was sure nothing was waiting underneath it to devour him, and kept his eyes on Calibri. If Calibri was going to go fetch something to chop him up with, he wanted to be able to run at the first sight of it.

[tactician]

Calibri, usually so oblivious (or simply uncaring) as to the reactions he garnered around people, strangely noticed the glare - maybe because this was his superior's son, and even he was aware that humans were strangely illogical creatures that persisted on emotions. If he didn't treat Danny correctly, it didn't really matter how well he performed in the workplace.

"What is it?" he asked, frowning at Danny's unwavering stare. His eyes flitted quickly back to the tables, all with harmful substances in tubes and bowls and petri dishes littering their surfaces. "Did you touch something poisonous?"

[kobacake]

"W-What?!" Danny whipped around, quickly pulling himself away from the table. Of course, he thought Calibri had meant he had touched something poisonous merely from leaning against the desk, and now he began to panic. "Oh god am I gonna die?!?!?"

[tactician]

"I would have to take a blood sample to know for sure," Calibri answered, calmly pulling an empty syringe and alcoholic sterilizer pad out of his pocket, as if those were entirely normal things to keep on one's person at all times.

[kobacake]

"W-W-WHAT?!" Danny squeaked out, holding his arms up in front of him, palms flat and facing Calibri."No way. NO WAY AM I GONNA LET YOU STAB ME WITH ONE OF THOSE!!"

[tactician]

"I can numb your arm," Calibri offered, cleaning off the needle of the syringe, which was really very, very long.

[kobacake]

"T-That won't even fit in my arm!" Danny shook his head violently, backing away from Calibri much like a small animal trying to make an escape from a predator.

[tactician]

"Of course it will," Calibri said, a little dip forming in his brow at Danny's obtuseness. His hand shot out and caught the hem of Danny's shirt, moving with a quickness that only made itself known at rare times. Usually, the poisons chemist did everything so lethargically and with such to-the-point purpose, it was sometimes jarring to know that he could move that fast. "The diameter of your arm is much thicker than the diameter of the needlepoint. There's clearly no way that it won't fit."

calibri is like a snake.....

[kobacake]

If there was one thing Danny was (one thing that he would always continue to be, even when he was older), it was fast. He was more than just a little startled when Calibri caught the hem of his shirt, not just because of Calibri's sudden speed, but because seeing Calibri standing there with every intention of stabbing him with a giant needle was absolutely terrifying. This seemed to jump start something in Danny's brain, a survival instinct perhaps, and he screamed, twisting around so that he could shed the collared over shirt that Calibri had latched onto. It was only too lucky that Danny hadn't buttoned it up like he did some days.

Without hesitating Danny jumped back a few steps to put distance between himself and Calibri, before making a mad dash to the opposite side of the nearest lab table. At least now there was an obstacle between them. Maybe he'd make it out alive after all.

his pokemon is snivy too-

[tactician]

For that entire display, Calibri really only looked mildly confused. Shirt dangling from his hand and syringe still in the other, he turned in the direction Danny had retreated to, but didn't move to chase the child past that.

"Why are you unclothing yourself in my laboratory?"

[kobacake]

It was Danny's turn, now, to look at Calibri like he was stupid (though the effect was probably diminished since his face just barely cleared the lab table between them). "There's no way I'm gonna let you stab me with that!!"

For someone who was possibly poisoned, Danny sure did have a lot of life in him.

[tactician]

Calibri stayed still for all of a moment.

Then, languidly, he started to circle the table toward Danny. "Daniel."

[kobacake]

Danny began circling the table in the opposite direction, keeping pace with Calibri so that he maintained the space between them. "...w-what?"

[tactician]

Calibri began to circle the other way, then back again, repeating the cat-mouse game over and over around the circumference of the table and its immediate vicinity. Every time he changed direction, he seemed to be moving faster. "It will only pinch a little. A needle is hardly anything to be intimidated by."

[kobacake]

Danny tried to keep up with all Calibri's direction switching, but each time he started lagging behind a little more. He shook his head, not believing a word Calibri was saying. Like hell it wouldn't hurt! It was long and sharp and Calibri was trying to put it in his arm!!

"I-I'm amenic!!" he yelled. Perhaps he meant "anemic"? "If you take my blood I'll die and then Boss will rip your face off and hang your corpse up as an example!!"

[tactician]

That little furrow of confusion reappeared at the outburst, only to be eased away a second later. "You are not anemic, Daniel," Calibri said patiently, changing directions yet again. He never really quite caught up to the boy, always allowing a few extra feet of leeway between them so that Danny could always get away by the skin of his teeth, and he persisted even as they began to work up a sweat from so much pre-breakfast exercise. "I've looked over all the medical records of the immediate staff at this organization, and your record has no indication of anemia."

[kobacake]

"BUT I'M ALLERGIC TO PAAAAAIN!!" Danny whined, starting to panic now that Calibri was getting closer and closer. In a last ditch effort to escape Calibri's clutches, he decided to try something different. Instead of backing away when Calibri approached him, he instead dove past Calibri, trying to use the advantage of his smaller stature to slip past him.

[tactician]

In a flutter of labcoat, Calibri caught Danny by the back of his collar, syringe still in hand.

But a needle prick never came.

Instead, Calibri looked down at Danny with a critical eye, on one lens glinting in the artificial light. After what probably seemed like the most tense moment of Danny's life, Calibri tucked the syringe back into one pocket, shrugging impassively. "The hypothesis was incorrect. You're not poisoned," he concluded, going lazy-lidded and almost bored-looking again. "If you were, then all the blood circulation I just induced would have had you dead by now."

Which meant that if he had been poisoned, Danny would probably be keeled over thanks to Calibri's idea of an experiment.

[kobacake]

Danny yelped when Calibri grabbed him, staring back in wide-eyed horror as he waited to receive the final blow. Goodbye, cruel world! His young life was so short. If only he could have remained in this world a little longer! ...But when it never came and Calibri put away his syringe, Danny let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in a moment of sweet, sweet relief.

Though, that moment lasted exactly the amount of time it took Calibri to tell Danny about the results of his experiment. Upon hearing that Calibri was fully ready to kill him (not like he hadn't been thinking that the whole time, but at least a part of him hoped Calibri would spare him), his eyes brimmed with tears, his bottom lip quivered, and within seconds his entire body was shaking with sobs as he cried out loud enough that it was almost audible beyond the airtight door of the lab. Almost. "Y-Y-YOU.... WANTED TO... KILL ME!!!!"

[tactician]

Homo Sapien children were fascinating creatures. How did they manage to shout so loudly while sobbing at the same time? The sound of their wailing was particularly grating too - it had the uncanny ability to make his head ache even after an entire night's sleep behind him. He raised his empty hand to one ear, cupping the palm over it though even that did little to assuage the volume.

"I had no such desire," he answered, finding it difficult to be heard above Danny's voice. He reached out with his other hand and tried cupping Danny's mouth this time, but even the muffled crying was enough to make him wince. "I was trying to diagnose you and- ah, that's really very loud. That-...can you...Daniel, please stop. I'm not exactly sure what the best course of action is when you make that sound."

[kobacake]

Danny was hysterical now, so there was no way he could understand Calibri's already difficult to comprehend manner of speaking. When Calibri tried to cover his mouth it only caused him to scream louder, and he flailed around until he could break free from Calibri's hold. He sank down to the floor, hugging his knees and burying his face in the space between his legs and his body.

"I.... HATE... YOU!!!!" Unfortunately for Calibri, the sound was barely muffled by his change in position.